A Mary Sue parody
by LT8
Summary: Bleh. Couldn't think of a better title. Review and suggest a new one if you would like. Anyway, this shows what the Hosts REALLY think of popular mary sues they are one-shots . No specific stories cited. T just in case.
1. The Hitachiin Triplet

Author's Note: Hey again! This will be my second story posted in the OHSHC section and I hope it will be informative and entertaining to some people! This is a story making fun of the popular mary sues of OHSHC. It may offend some but I would like you to first research what a mary sue is (Or read "Public Service Announcement" in the OHSHC section). Then you can flame me. Although I will tell you that none of these will be making fun of specific stories, just the mary sues that are popular in this section. And with that noted, I will move on.

P.S.: I do not own OHSHC or anything related to it because if I did then… I guess I'd be pretty popular wouldn't I?

P.S.S.: Yes, I have been guilty of creating a gary sue myself but I hope I have gotten better at not doing it.

"Hey! It's LT8 here! Coming to you with another OHSHC fanfic! This one is about making fun of mary sues of OHSHC! Yes it's true. There are a ton of them. I'm almost scared of coming in the Ouran High fanfic section anymore because of them." She sighs. "Well, I guess it's time to introduce this chapter's co-hosts. Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin!" The camera swings to the side of her and the twins can be seen waving. "Now Hikaru and Kaoru…" LT8 begins. "This chapter makes fun of one of the most overused sue parodies that have to do with you two." The twins nod their heads.

"Unfortunately yes." Hikaru said, turning to look over at LT8. Kaoru did the same.

"It's one of the most annoying to us." Kaoru added, putting on his thinking face.

"Well, why don't you two say what it is?" LT8 asked them. She was spinning on her chair a little bit. The two nodded.

"It's… The Hitachiin triplet sue!" They announced together. LT8 shook her head. "We are TWINS. Meaning there is no other brother or sister that was born at the same time as us in the family! In fact, we don't even HAVE any younger or older siblings." They said. LT8 nodded her head.

"It's pretty sad that some people ignore science and put us into their crazed fantasy world." Hikaru said. He sighed and put an elbow on the… desk in front of them. They were apparently in a made-up newsroom. It had blue walls! And… oh wait, back to the point.

"I'm pretty sure this bothers you a little LT8, being a twin yourself." Kaoru added, nodding over to LT8. LT8 sighed.

"Unfortunately, I think it bothers me more than it should. Yes, I may be a twin myself but that doesn't mean that it's just because of that fact that this mary sue bothers me. It's the fact that people IGNORE ALL LOGIC when it comes to this mary sue." The twins nodded their heads, waiting for her to continue. She sighed. "Yes, they can always say 'they were separated at birth' or some crap like that but the 'triplet' is still, almost always, a girl. Technically then, you two," She nodded over to the two red-heads. "You guys would not be identical twins." The two nodded once again.

"And as for the demonstration of this sue…" Hikaru began.

"We have used another girl who goes to Ouran to act like our 'triplet'. The other hosts will be there as well." Kaoru ended.

"Okay, with that, let's go over to our make-up stage shall we?" LT8 asks while getting up and going to the side where there is a small stage that looks like part of the 3rd music room, including the main doorway. Honey and Tamaki wave at the camera. Kyouya is taking notes as usual, Haruhi looks like she doesn't want to be there, and Mori is watching his cousin. The twins come walking over. LT8 addresses the group.

"As you have hopefully been informed, you are going to do a little skit that makes fun of the 'Hitachiin Triplet' mary sue." The hosts nodded in understanding. A random Ouran girl in a uniform walks up to them. LT8 gestures to her. "This is the girl who will be playing the 'triplet'. I'm going to give her some random American name." The girl nods her head. "You ready?" LT8 asks the hosts. They nod their heads yes once more. LT8 turns to the girl. "Are you ready… person?" LT8 asks her.

"Hey I have a-" She begins. LT8 put up her hand.

"Don't know it, don't care. Ready? Annnnddd… ACTION!" LT8 yells while diving off the screen.

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"It was another planning day for the Host Club and everyone was doing their usual thing." LT8 narrated. "Honey was gorging himself on cakes, Mori watching him silently, making sure he wouldn't have another cavity, Haruhi was trying to do her homework, Kyouya was… writing down whatever he does in that notebook…" Kyouya glares at the spot where LT8 is sitting with a microphone and glares at her. She shrinks back a little. "_When you meet him in person he is so much more intimidating. I still can't believe he is my favorite host._" LT8 tried to whisper to herself. Unfortunately Kyouya heard her and gave her the look that said we-are-going-to-talk-after-this-and-you-wuill-be-in-much-pain-afterwards. LT8 gulped and continued the narration.

"And of course, the twins were currently laughing their heads off after, once again, sending Tamaki into his currently-being-copyrighted corner of woe. Just then, the all heard a slight creak coming from where the door was. Kyouya made a mental note to tell the school about the creaking. A girl with brown hair and golden eyes, much like the twins, stepped shyly into the room." LT8 continued. Luckily the girl was not allergic to the colored lenses that they had given her to cover her brown eyes.

"I'm sorry, but customers are not allowed in today. You will have to wait until the next meeting." Kyouya stated to the girl, pushing up his glasses at the same time in a cool manner. The girl scoffed.

"As if I would come here to be hosted!" She said haughtily. Tamaki wailed and went back to his corner of woe, coming out of it when the door opened, and the twins laughed a little more. Haruhi shook her head.

"And who might you be?" Haruhi asked the girl. Said girl turned to face the rest of the hosts.

"I'm Suzy Fitzgerald." She said, smiling and closing her eyes like she had just dissed the whole host club and was gloating about it. When no one did anything, she opened her eyes again. "I'm Hikaru's and Kaoru's triplet." She said, a little pissed that no one was gawking over her beauty.

"Um… excuse me but…" Hikaru said in a questioning tone.

"How can you be our triplet?" Kaoru asked. The girl smiled a bit more, trying to get one of the other host's attentions by fluttering her eyebrows.

"Well, your mother didn't want a girl so when I was born after you two, they sent me to an adoptive family in America where I grew up. Of course they told me all about you guys so when I learned that you were here at Ouran I figured I'd come visit and transfer in. They said I was the most beautiful girl in middle school in America." She said, sighing happily. Tamaki, who had come back to listen, decided to speak up.

"That is the worst excuse for acting like you are a triplet to the two incarnations of the devil. Even I'M not stupid enough to believe that." Tamaki said, crossing his arms. The other hosts looked at him like a miracle had just happened, which it probably did. Tamaki, admitting his own faults? Now that was a reason to conclude that today was the day of the apocalypse. Hikaru ran over to the window to make sure it wasn't raining fire and brimstone. When he saw that it wasn't, he let out a sigh of relief and headed back to the group. Tamaki almost glared at them. They turned back to the girl who looked like she was about to cry a river or explode like a volcanoe.

"But! But! I AM their triplet!" She sobbed. The twins looked at her like she was crazy.

"You do realize that we have red hair right?" They asked her at the same time. "There is no way that you could be our triplet. Despite the fact that it defies logic, our mother one time said she would like to have a girl." They finished. The tears didn't stop for the girl. She looked to see if any of them looked like they felt sorry for her.

"Why don't any of you feel sorry for me?!? My brother's won't accept me and I'm beautiful!" She sobbed some more. This time honey decided to speak.

"It's because you are not related to them and you can't just come in here expecting one of us to instantly fall in love with you, ne Takashi?" Honey asked, looking over to his silent cousin. Mori nodded yes. Kyouya pushed up his glasses once again and they gleamed knowingly in the sunlight.

"And I suppose that you already know Haruhi is a girl." He said. The girl looked up at him, with her tear stained face and slowly nodded a yes. Haruhi looked startled but Kyouya continued on calmly. "I hope you do realize that I had researched about Haruhi and that is the only reason I knew she was a girl right away." Haruhi sighed. Of course the Shadow King had done that. It would be weird if he hadn't.

"Well, we need to plan for the next meeting everyone." Tamaki said, turning around. The other hosts started to go with him.

"Wait!" Yelled the girl. Only Haruhi and Tamaki stopped and turned around. "Aren't you supposed to let me work in the host club as a hostess or disguise me so that I look like a boy also?" She asked, hope gleaming in her tear filled eyes.

"Nope." Tamaki said. And with that, he and Haruhi went to the table where the other hosts sat. For the rest of the time, Everyone ignored the girl who was a crumpled up, whimpering ball on the floor. Even past club meeting time they ignored her as they walked out. It was only until the janitor came that night and, upon seeing the girl on the floor, put her where she was supposed to be. In the trash.

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"Wow! You guys did great!" LT8 said as the group walked off the set. "Come back for the next chapter!" She said. But as she was about to turn to leave, Kyouya suddenly came up next to her.

"Now… about that talk." He said, smiling. LT8 gulped.

Well, that was that chapter! Read it, review, give me some suggestions on mary sues you would like to see made fun of!

Well, let's hope I survive to the next chapter!


	2. The longlost sister

Wh00t! Time for another chapter everyone! Although I only got three reviews, two of them had great suggestions for me. I think this will be a fun one. I'm going to go in order of suggestions.

P.S. I do not own anything from or about Scrubs.

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"Hi, and welcome back to A Mary Sue Parody!" A man in a blue doctor's scrub uniform said while sitting at the make-up desk. He was also wearing his stethoscope. "I'm Dr. John "J.D." Michael Dorian filling in for LT8 while she has a pleasant stay at Sacred Heart—" Kyouya glared at him. "I mean a pleasant stay at an all-day spa!" J.D. finished, a nervous smile on his face. Kyouya went back to taking notes. J.D. breathed a sigh of relief and continued on. "Today we will be parodying the 'Long lost sister of Tamaki' sue." The camera fell back to show J.D. and Tamaki sitting at the desk.

"Yes! It is the sue of the sibling I don't have!" Tamaki announced overdramaticly. "It is where I have almost always a long-lost sister who just happens to find me. She then somehow gets 'mommy' to fall in love with her!" Tamaki blew into a hankerchief. Kyouya rolled his eyes, and J.D. had an eyebrow raised. He shook off the weirdness.

"Wow. It's sad what these fangirls do to people." J.D. said. Tamaki nodded. J.D.

"I'm sure you have had some weird experiences yourself in the world of fandom." Tamaki said to him. J.D. looked at him.

"I have fanfictions written about me?" J.D. asked. Kyouya nodded as he placed his pineapple laptop on the desk in front of J.D. J.D. looked up a few fanfics and looked as if he would be needing to be seen by a doctor himself. "Wow…" He muttered as Kyouya took back his laptop. "I will never look at women the same way."

"It is sad what fangirls come up with. But we must be strong! We must-" Tamaki continued on his rant as J.D. thought about why he was here. _You know, just because that girl said she would give me a sandwich, I really probably should have thought this out before coming._ J.D. thought, looking at the continuously ranting Tamaki who had now added his arms to make it even more dramatic. _But then again, she said that that crazy janitor wouldn't be able to find me… Well I am talking to cartoon characters… what were they called in Japanese again? Amime? Aneme? Hmm…_

"And that is why we should be kind to all women of the world!" Tamaki said, finally finishing. J.D. quickly shook himself out of his thoughts.

"Uh… yeah. Anyway, let's start with the skit." J.D. said. Tamaki nodded and he headed to the stage.

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"All of the hosts were in the host club, anxiously awaiting the arrival of the 'Shadow King'." J.D. started to narrate. "Suddenly, the door flew open and they turned to see the face of a very pissed off Kyouya Ootori."

"Kyou-chan! Why do you look so angry?" Honey asked, slightly trembeling behind Mori's leg. The other hosts were shaking as well except for Haruhi.

"Kyouya-senpai, what happened?" She asked, a thoroughly confused look on her face. She knew that Kyouya could not be woken up early or you would face the wrath of the Low Blood Pressure Evil Lord, and knew of only one time when he had gotten really angry, but he was looking purely murderously at the Host Club King who was now trying to hide between the twins who were hugging each other.

"Tamaki…" Kyouya said, drawing the blond's name out slowly. Tamaki eeped and tried to hide behind Mori. Kyouya continued on, his glasses flashing dangerously. "Do you know anything about this!?!" Kyouya pointed behind him and in the doorway that he had been in only about a minute before; there was a girl with dirty blond hair and a happy smile on her face. Tamaki looked at her and shook his head.

"I have never seen her before in my life." Tamaki said shakily. The girl just giggled.

"Of course you haven't! I'm your long lost sister!" She happily said, bouncing over to Kyouya and tugging his arm. He looked venomously at her and pulled himself away.

"But… but… I have no siblings! Father told me!" Tamaki wailed. He was now very confused. The girl put on a thoughtful face.

"Well, that's because your mother had me in secret, and then sent me to America to live. My foster parents told me all about you and I decided to come here! Although, my foster parents aren't very rich, and I really only get average grades, I was able to get in anyway!" She giggled. Haruhi almost fainted.

"That's not fair! If I even get a B+ on a test, I might lose my scholarship!" Haruhi yelled. It just wasn't fair!

"Oh yeah! I forgot to mention that I will also be a host from now on!" The girl added, while following Kyouya around the room oblivious to the fact that he was trying to get away from her.

"But Haruhi is the only girl host!" Hikaru yelled, finally deciding to speak up.

"And she only became one because she had a debt!" Kaoru finished. They were both thoroughly pissed at this girl now.

"I will not allow another girl to become a host!" Tamaki said, looking triumphant. The girl sighed and shook her head.

"But Kyouya said I could and you guys always listen to him right?" The girl said, looking at the hosts with unshed tears in her beautiful eyes.

"I NEVER SAID THAT! YOU JUST SAID YOU WERE GOING TO BE ONE AND I SAID THAT YOU WEREN"T!" Kyouya yelled at the girl. He was tired of her following him around, thinking that he had fallen in love with her. It was getting plain annoying.

"Oh Kyouya-kun. You say the silliest things!" The girl said while trying to hug the Shadow King. "Oh yeah! My name is Marianne Petrosky! And I'm half-French, half-Japanese, and half-American!" She said this happily. Kyouya looked like he was about to explode from the studipidity that this girl was saying. Honey looked as if he was about to cry.

"But you can't be three halves! It would be thirds! And Tama-chan's mother didn't have any children in secret and… and… waaaaahhhh!!" Honey said, crying and running to the other side of the room because of the nonsensical girl. Haruhi looked confused too and the twins were trying to hold in their laughter that was going to be launched at the stupid girl.

"THAT IS IT!!!" Kyouya yelled and slapped the girl across the face. The girl fell to the ground dramatically and in slow-motion. She looked up at him, tears streaming down her perfect face.

"But… you are supposed to fall in love with me!" She said, starting to cry. Kyouya just shook his head, took out his cell phone and dialed security.

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All of the hosts bowed. Haruhi helped the volunteer up from her feet. J.D. looked thoroughly freaked out. _I'd hate to have to go through that_. He thought to himself. "Well, that's it for that skit. Join the hosts and LT8 next time to see another mary-sue being made fun of!" He said. Tamaki thanked him for substituting. But, just as J.D. was about to walk out, he slipped on some water on the floor, landing back first on the tile. He looked up to see… the Janitor!

"Oh, darn. Someone slipped on the wet floor right before I was going to put up the sign." Janitor said. He looked down at J.D. and crinkled his face a little bit. J.D. was freaking out. He had been in this position before. "Oh, you have a little dirt on your face. Let me wipe that off for you." Janitor said, and then proceeded to wipe J.D.'s face with the dirty mop.

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Well, that's it for that chapter. R&R! Sorry it took so long. It was a combination of school and trying to figure out how I would start the scene that made it so late.


	3. Tragic past 1

LT8 is back! After a long hiatus I have returned with another parody! You see, the reason for my absence was that the President actually enlisted me to go on a top secret mission to play a lot of hours of video games and…

Okay! I admit it! That was all a lie! I was just lazy! I procrastinated! I'm sorry! I've probably lost some of my fellow fans now! crickets chirp

… Sorry, acting a bit too much like Tamaki there.

Tamaki: Hey!

Me: Shut up!

Tamaki: goes to his corner of woe where LT8 has put up a sign saying "Tamaki's corner of woe. Patent pendiung."

Anyway… onto the parody! batman song goes on

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"Hey! It's me and I'm back!" LT8 said. Crickets chirp. "Anyway… we have another parody. It's one you all hate with a passion… It's our first girl with a tragic past story!" Pushes a button and cheering is heard. "Let's go over to the twins since this is the one that concerns them the most." LT8 said while swiveling her chair to her right. Camera focuses on the twins who were sitting next to her. They both nodded.

"This is the one where a girl has a tragic past-" Hikaru began.

"Somehow ends up with us as a blessing to her since she is spared a childhood-" Koaru continued. Tamaki could be heard laughing his head off in the background. The twins glared at him.

"And usually ends up living with us." They finished at the same time. LT8 shook her head.

"It's sad what people do these days." She said taking out her 'some of the worst mary-sues I have heard of' list out and marking somewhere on it. "Well, anyway, everyone to the set! We have to get going! We have a parody to do!" With that, the twins got out of their seats and headed toward the set where everyone else was waiting. LT8 talked to some random girl and she nodded her head. And then LT8 slipped her a $20. "Since our volunteer decided not to show up, I'm going to use this random girl instead!" LT8 said while pushing the girl toward the back of the door she was going to enter through. "AAANNNNDDD… Go!"

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LT8 began her narration. "Mika was a girl with a tragic past. Her parents had both been killed in an accident involving a bus, a terrorist, and for some reason, a rubber ducky. She then went to move in with her aunt and uncle who were always cruel to her and made her clean the house and stuff like in Cinderella. She was always mistreated, made fun of at school, but worst of all… Didn't make it onto the set of High School Musical 2, her dream ever since she saw the first one. Her aunt and uncle then randomly decided to move to Japan because of inflating prices in the economy in America, and they moved to a house where the same stuff happened to her again, except for the HSM thing. She had begun to cut her wrists and act all emo so that maybe people would feel sorry for her. Then one day…"

"Mika was walking down a random street and happened to bump into a couple of teenage boys who for some reason, were walking that same street, but wouldn't in real life because they were rich and would have driven everywhere in their limo instead. But this is what happened people." The twins scowled at the fact that they would actually be walking down a commoner street instead of just making their limo driver drive them to wherever they needed to be. Haruhi just sighed.

"I'm so sorry!" Mika said, brushing herself off and getting up. She then looked at the two boys who happened to be identical twins.

"Pfft… whatever." The first one said, brushing past her.

"Sorry." Said the other, also walking past her. She then ran after the two boys.

"Aren't you supposed to apologize, help me up, and then tell me who you are?" Mika asked. The boys looked at each other, and then at her.

"No." They said in unison, then walking off. The girl stared after them, determined to find out who they were.

On a later day at the Host Club…

"Well, this is one of our meeting days. So that means we have to come up with another cosplay!" Tamaki said excitedly. Everyone else just groaned. All of a sudden, the door opened and there stood the girl that the twins had bumped into and then left on the street a few days ago.

"Oh! Hikaru! Kaoru!" Mika said, flinging herself onto them. "Thank you for saving me, giving me my childhood back, and inviting me to live with you!" She sobbed. The twins pushed her off of them.

"We never did any of that." They said together, creeping away from the girl. Everyone else just looked confused.

"But you heard my tragic past! Am I not going to become your friend, somehow end up being a student here, you guys falling in love with me, and me living with you two forever?" She asked, tears forming in her eyes. The twins shook their heads no.

"We don't even know you!" Hikaru shouted at her.

"And the only girl we would let live with us is Haruhi!" Kaoru continued. Tamaki rushed over to Haruhi, protecting her using a bear hug.

"You unscrupulous twins will never get my daughter to live with you! Mother! Tell the twins to keep off our precious daughter!" Tamaki said, turning toward Kyouya while Haruhi just endured the hug with her blank face. Kyouya rolled his eyes. The girl started to cry.

"But that's what you two are supposed to do!" She said, going onto her knees in front of the twins and holding onto their pants' leg. They kicked her off.

"Get away from us you freak!" They said, running away from her now.

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"And cut! I think people get the point now." LT8 said, walking over to the set. The hosts nodded to her and walked off. LT8 thanked the girl and they both walked off stage to go get some ice cream.

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Now I'm hungry for Ice Cream… anyway, thanks for reading peoples! Please keep reviewing and giving me ideas! Next up is when Haruhi disappears because the authoress has killed her off and puts in a mary-sue to help the hosts put back the pieces!


	4. Haruhi's dead?

Hey everyone! Long-time no… post? Read? What exactly do you say to people who you only communicate with by posting up chapters of a fanfic? Anyway, another long-awaited chapter is finally here! That's right! It's the Haruhi disappears/gets killed by the author and a mary-sue takes her place to "console" the Host Club and they fall in love with her!

And if you guys didn't know already, I don't own High School Musical 1 or 2. I wouldn't want to either.

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Camera zooms in to the horrible desk and you can see LT8 doodling on paper like Jon Stewart. She looks up at the camera. "Hello again everyone! I'm your… story host LT8!" Wind is heard blowing and tumbleweed rolls by. "Yeah… anyway, this is one mary-sue that I don't think I have seen personally, but is a great thing to make fun of! Of course, then again, all mary-sues are entertaining if they are made fun of. Anyway, onto the skit!" The camera swivels to the stage.

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It was another day for the Host Club. Although it wasn't a planning day, they did have the day off from customers because most of them were studying for some really big test that apparently none of the hosts would take for some reason, so they were doing… whatever they wanted to entertain themselves.

Suddenly, a girl burst through the door. "Host Club! I have come to console you in your dark hour!" She said. The hosts looked at each other like "WTH?!" She ran through the room waving her arms dramatically. "I am Sakura and I will be here with you to get through this awful time of losing one of your own!" Again, the hosts looked at each other, counted in their heads, each coming up with 7, and then staring at her again.

"But we're all here." The twins said together, now getting annoyed at the obviously blind girl. Sakura rushed over to them, hugging them both.

"Denial is one of the first things that happens when you lose someone. But don't worry, I am here to help you." She said, looking at them her pale blue eyes sparkling.

"But we haven't lost anyone! Mother and I have been keeping a good eye on our family! Right mother?" Tamaki said, looking over at Kyouya. Kyouya sighed and rolled his eyes at Tamaki.

"Yes. Everyone is here and accounted for." Kyouya replied to Tamaki. The girl gasped.

"It must be very painful for each of you to lose Haruhi!" She said, tears forming at her eyes. Everyone looked over at Haruhi, who was just as confused as everyone else.

"But I'm right here. I'm not dead or anything." Haruhi said. The girl ignored her.

"You must each get through your daily lives! Haruhi would not have wanted you to mope around because she is not here anymore!" The girls said, looking at all of them. All of them were getting annoyed now,

"Haru-chan is right here!" Honey slightly yelled. The girl walked over to him.

"I know it is hard Honey, but you can get through it." She then looked at all of them again. "You can all get through it! You are strong! You are the Host Club!" She said triumphantly. The twins looked at each other and then started to walk slowly towards Sakura.

"I think someone…" Hikaru began.

"Needs a reality check." Kaoru finished as they both grabbed one of her arms. She looked at them and smiled.

"I know you both adored Haruhi very much, but I am here! It's okay to fall in love with me." She said, looking at them shyly. They both had disgusted looks on their faces. They quickly ran to the main entrance, throwing her out. Kyouya had already started to dial security and get the nice men in white coats to help the poor girl.

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Short I know, sorry. Next up for a parody will be… Ooh… another tomboy who dresses up like a guy, who doesn't care about genders, is intelligent, gets into Ouran, breaks a vase and!... it isn't Haruhi!

After that it will probably Tragic Past #2. There are a lot of them it seems.


	5. The girl isn't Haruhi!

And I'm back

And I'm back! Days before finals! When I should be studying diligently so as to get good grades on them, I am instead typing out this chapter for you guys. YOU BETTER THANK ME!

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Camera focuses on the desk. You can see LT8 looking at a laptop while scribbling things. Noises like "Let's get this show on the road folks!" and "Why do you even say those things?" Are coming out of the speakers. Suddenly, LT8 looks up and quickly shuts the computer.

"Hey people! Long time no… post? Anyway, please ignore my horrible Big O addiction!" Hides a Big O plushie underneath the desk. "Anyway, last time I promised that this chapter would be dedicated to the tomboyish girl who usually dresses up as a boy, comes to Ouran, knocks a vase over just like Haruhi, and it's not Haruhi!" Presses a button and a crowd saying "Gasp!" is heard. "Here with me today is Honey and Mori. What do you two have to say about this?" Camera zooms out a little bit and you can see Mori and Honey sitting at the desk.

"That's right 8-chan! This is the girl who enters the show the same way Haru-chan did! Oh! But this will be before OHSHC even started, but Haru-chan will still be watching!" Honey says as Mori looks as blank as ever.

"Alright peoples! Let's get it on!" LT8 says and is attacked by rabid MXC fans. Camera goes to the stage.

--

You could see a kid who looked like a boy walking down the hallway towards the 3rd Music Room. How did they get here? This person got in by a scholarship by the school and is a freshman. I bet you are wondering, "Wait. Ouran only allows one scholarship to one student in the grade!" Well, this is fanfictionland! Where are fanfictions are made! Fanfictionland song comes on and goes on for about ten minutes. (coughspcough)

Er… continuing on… This kid reached the door and opened it. Suddenly, the magic rose petals that come out of nowhere and have no reasonable explanation as to why they suddenly fly into your face appear with sparkly blinding light! The kid rubs their eyes and notices six of the Host Club members. They are all sitting in front of the door and are covered in sparkles. The kid blinks their eyes thinking '_WTH?!_' When suddenly Tamaki jumps up.

"Welcome student! We don't' have a lot of members right now but we will try to please you anyway!" Tamaki said loudly. The twins looked at each other with disgusted faces from all the implications that sentence made. The student backed to the door.

"Uh… I was actually just looking for a place to study…" The student said while looking over all the hosts and measuring their hotness. The student liked Tamaki but was interrupted out of their thoughts by Tamaki grabbing them by the hand.

"Don't be shy! We take anyone!" Tamaki said. The twins looked ill, Kyouya's glasses flashed, and Honey hid behind Mori. Perhaps Tamaki had gone a little more insane than usual without Haruhi around. Or perhaps the host that was supposed to slip him his "calm-the--down" pills hadn't and they were now seeing the effects. Either way, they would not have any part of this.

"Tono, perhaps we should just tell the kid where to study quietly?" The twins said together. Although everyone except Tamaki realized that the student was a girl dressed up as a boy, Tamaki would never figure it out until it became horribly obvious. That is why they were squeamish. Kyouya decided to speak up.

"Tamaki, customers will be arriving soon and we don't have time for this." He said, sighing at Tamaki's stupidity. How exactly was Tamaki getting the 2nd best grades in the junior class? The world may never know. At that, Tamaki let go of the girl and she staggered a bit. Suddenly, she fell backward a bit, causing a stand with a vase on it to start wobbling. Of course, this vase and table were bought from "Plot device Inc." For over 1million dollars, so it was going to break even if you lightly tapped it. Suddenly, the vase fell to the floor crashing into pieces! I mean, what else would it become? Little duckies? Fluffballs? The girl looked at the hosts with a scared look on her face.

"Oh no! That was a vase worth 1 million dollars!" Honey said, hugging Usa-chan. The girl gulped.

"Uh… I … I'll pay it back somehow…" The girl stammered. Your god! She even sounded like a girl and Tamaki still couldn't get it through his think skull! Kyouya coughed and everyone looked at him.

"Yes! You will become… the Host club's dog!" Tamaki said, pointing dramatically at the girl. She fainted.

Soon after, an incident with another girl made Tamaki realized that Tsubame was a girl! And that is where the series ended. Why? Because of the fact that there wouldn't even be a Ouran High School Host Club series WITHOUT Haruhi! I mean, she's pretty much the freaken' MAIN CHARACTER! You can't have the Host Club without Haruhi! Right? RIGHT??

Skit ends…

--

The camera swivels back to LT8 and you can see her hugging a bunch of hamtaro character plushies. The camera person coughs and she gets out of her daydream of the Hamtaro series ever going onto the internet. "Well, that's it for this time people! Next, we will have another tragic past! R&R!"


End file.
